Fly Fishing Guide

Please Review My Personal Statement For College Application And Rate It And Review It. I’m Going To Sleep Now.?

At the age of 11, I found myself in a new school, in a new city, with new, more affluent students so different from what I was accustomed to. It was the beginning of a new phase of my life. For the past 11 years, I had lived a naïve, relatively protected life in a small West African town and it was not just a fish-out-of-water experience for me. I suppose it would do more justice to call it a fish-in-space experience. The first problem was that I was joining a class of 14-year olds when I was 11. I was bullied, teased, and ostracized for my diminutiveness and lack of ‘city sophistication’. That experience was the beginning of an awakening for me. The next four years would be the hardest but most exhilarating of my life so far, years which I struggled with myself and my peers, with my morals and my intrepidity, with my convictions and my uncertainties.

If I had to define myself in the fewest words possible, I would choose deliberate, tough and nuanced. I’d be the first to acknowledge that this combination does not always work out for the best; however, these three most important traits are what define me. First of all, being a thinking person is a big part of the puzzle when it comes to painting my portrait. I am a logical, discerning person, almost to a fault. This attribute comes in useful most of the time, sometimes not. Being a thinker enables me to project the consequences of prospective decisions and to evaluate the upside or downside of making those decisions. Because of that ability, which was honed through years of irresponsible decision-making which landed me deeper in the ditch, I have been able to avoid most mistakes that I would be expected to make as a young person, mistakes that my friends and contemporaries made, some impossible to rectify. Whenever I am in a tough spot, the first thing I do is pause. I just think. I just stand there and go over my problem deliberately. Every time I’ve done this, I’ve always come off the better for it.

In addition, one of the traits which I consider an asset is that I am a very strong-minded individual. My high school experience taught me to let all sorts of psychological warfare to fly over my head. At first, it wasn’t easy. I was easily broken. The taunts of classmates rang and reverberated deep inside my innocent soul. I remember an incident when it was discovered that I had no knowledge of a popular cartoon series. While it didn’t seem like much to me, it caused uproar about my lack of exposure to contemporary culture. Wave after wave of ridicule surrounded me and I thought I would never survive. Risible as it has come to seem now, a continual onslaught of this kind of mockery can have a debilitating effect on a child’s psyche. I believe that experience was a lesson assigned to me by fate so that I could develop the fortitude to withstand bigger challenges. And now, I am most grateful for that lesson. This is because, if I hadn’t learned it as an 11-year old, who knows if I might have to learn it as a 21 or 31 or 51-year old when it would be too late?

The last piece of the puzzle would be my nuanced nature. I realize that this is an attribute most people would find hard to qualify. However, just like the word itself, its application in my life is quite flexible. I acquired this skill as a way of dealing with people. Because of the volatile nature of my relationships with my peers at my new school, it was of the utmost importance to have a double-sided method of dealing with them. Sometimes, I had to project an image of aggression; simultaneously I had to seem non-aggravating. It was important to be able to talk through the side of my mouth, to be unequivocal and ambiguous in my statements, not so much to be deceptive but more to be able to send the right message and to concurrently have the option of back-pedaling when I needed to. Amorphous as the meaning of this attribute seems, it proved quite helpful in setting the tone with people.

In conclusion, I believe that transferring to that new school will always be the most defining experience of my life. The ensuing battle to assimilate and be accepted shaped my persona and my world outlook. The three aforementioned qualities were the spoils of that battle and I am the better for it.

I answered this question and they must have deleted it when they went on their coffee break…Jeez…all that work. OK basically: make the
last paragraph stronger.. Take the first sentence of the 2nd paragraph and put it into the conclusion paragraph. Delete the 2nd sentence of the
2nd paragraph as it is wordy and unnecessarily repetitious. ( delete ” sometimes not …why open doors of possibility which you don’t explore?)
Also, deeper in the ditch? what ditch…. I would say ” deeper in the ditch of my own folly. ..psychological warfare fly ( don’t need to). . I would work in the idea that you can be subtle.. I wasn’t sure about the side of the mouth bit sounds like talking with forked tongue? but being unequivocal and ambiguous at the same time with my statements, not so much to be deceptive but more to be able to send the right message ( what makes it right? that it is received in a way that defuses anxiety or anger? Amorphous as the meaning of this attribute, it has proven to be quite helpful in setting the tone in potentially stressful situations. ( you don’t want to seem like a b.ser so I would be careful with this paragraph although you have put in several caveats. Try looking up some of the synonyms for nuance and work them in maybe? Your call.

I would also start the first sentence..a new country, a new city, a new school with unfamiliar, more affluent students…because this shows a progression from large to small like if you were zooming in on a Google map. It lends credibility to your claim of being logical to a fault ( don’t use this phrase unless you are able to defend it in the oral interview) unless you want to claim geekdom, geekness, geekitity?